I love the TV sitcom about a Seattle Radio Shrink, ‘Frasier’ – a spin off from another great sitcom, ‘Cheers’ – and I recently had the chance to catch up on some old episodes, including one where he is looking for a catchphrase for his new radio show. After lots in inadequate attempts, some comic, some tragic, he comes up with the simple yet profound “I’m listening.” I like it.
One of the many things which has impressed me about the new Anglican Bishop of the Diocese of BC, The Rt Rev’d Logan McMenamie (@logmc50 on Twitter) is that his tenure as leader of the Island’s Anglicans began not with a ‘Vision Statement’ nor with a ‘new direction’ for the Church (complete with instructions) but with an example of listening. In fact, his introduction as Bishop on what he has called a ‘Listening Tour’ around the regions of the Diocese strikes me as a very positive way of beginning a new phase in the life of the Island’s Anglican community – and hopefully a way in which the church will seek to interact with those beyond the walls of the traditional religious community.
Listening seems to be a much healthier way of being than ‘broadcasting’. Adherents to various religious traditions are regularly accused of ‘stuffing religion down people’s throats’ when we find ourselves stuck always giving out messages rather than opening ourselves to one another, respectfully and honestly. This issue is echoed in a move from ‘old’ media to ‘new’ media – as the traditional broadcast methods of newspapers, television and radio are challenged by the growth in instant response via the internet, but the growth of social media, through blogs and by the ‘always on’ nature of our web connections. The best uses of social media, for instance, are by those brands and individuals that respond to their followers, that converse with their connections, that are open to interaction. Where people and organisations lose credibility online is when they spend time making pronouncements or announcements, but never engage with their audience. There’s a message in there for people of faith too, listen as much as we speak, in fact more than we speak.
It doesn’t mean that we don’t hold deeply to those things in our traditions which we define as ‘good’ and ‘true’ but that we are willing to hear other’s understandings and wisdom and hold them alongside our own. It takes a supreme arrogance to think that ‘my way’ is the only way.
In his encounters with people recorded in the Gospels of the Christian Scripture we see that Jesus did a fair amount of asking – ‘what do you want?’ he asks of one blind beggar. ‘Give me a drink,’ he requests of a woman at a well. ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ He demands of two blind men. The list goes on. Alongside this Jesus didn’t make proclamations in the way that most religious types do, he tended to tell stories – which we call parables – and explain the events going on around him using vivid images and metaphors rather than giving reams of rules and regulations.
If we who call ourselves people of faith really wish to connect with a world beyond our walls, we probably need to stop telling them what to believe, and ask them what they think. We should engage with those who don’t come to our places of worship more than those who do, and seek to offer care, compassion and companionship with no string attached and free of judgement or a ‘conversion agenda.’ I don’t know about you, but I find it powerfully rewarding to hear the stories of people who come from different backgrounds and understandings, whose experience of life and faith is different to mine, who have much to teach me. That does not mean I am anything less than completely committed to my own faith community, or that I am disconnected from my faith tradition, I am secure and happy within and dedicated to the Church which I have chosen to be a part of. When I am open to others, though, I continue to learn and to grow, it is a dynamic rather than a static relationship, and if I am willing to listen, then they often wish to hear something of my story and the way I see the world. In this way we can offer ourselves to one another, and both be enhanced and even transformed in the encounter.
If we are too busy speaking, too busy making pronouncements, all we really hear is the sound of our own voice – which is great if one wants to just hear one’s own message to the exclusion of all else. That’s not a method I see in Jesus’ life nor in the lives of great spiritual leaders. Listening, giving attention to another person, is empowering and liberating – for ourselves and for those to whom we are listening.
Listening to one another also reminds us to listen to God. Not to spend all of our time talking, but learning to listen. We can hear God in silence, in the words of holy books, in conversations with one another, in worship and prayer – but like learning to listen to one another it takes some work, and some effort. Listening is a discipline – and whether it is in our conversations with one another, or learning to hear the voice of God – it is a worthwhile discipline to work on.
Alastair McCollum recently moved with his family from Devon, England to become Rector of St John the Divine Anglican Church in Victoria. He has a passion for the Gospel, motorbikes and bike culture, worship, philosophy, theology, guitars, single malt whisky, real ale, cinema and all things French.
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