Watch for some compelling performances from B.C. Liberal cabinet ministers after they鈥檝e had their $24,000 worth of coaching sessions on how to deal with the media.
It鈥檚 tempting to condemn this program as a stupid waste of money (and I will give in to that temptation below). But the one thing in its favour is that these people could actually use some coaching.
It鈥檚 like watching an elementary-school play, some days. Some of them freeze up when their turn comes, and the others read their lines with all the conviction of a ferry safety announcement.
If they鈥檙e going to blow $24,000 on getting better, I want to be moved to tears as ministers channel their inner Al Pacinos and Helen Mirrens.
Make me feel it, baby.
鈥淓nergy Minister Bill Bennett鈥檚 haunting rendition of B.C.鈥檚 five conditions for heavy-oil pipelines evoked memories of Samuel Jackson鈥檚 powerful turn in Snakes on a Plane.鈥�
It鈥檚 unclear what approach Judy Kirk, a former executive director of the B.C. Liberal caucus in the 1990s, is taking. Will she take them down the Method acting route, where they have to sit in their office and recover childhood memories before each scrum? Or will she advise more traditional Shakespearean drama styles?
Regardless, most of the outfits doing this sort of work follow the same approach.
They determine what your message is, they refine it and boil it down, then they tell you to stick to it, no matter what.
No matter what the question, they teach how to power-skate back to your message box and stay there.
Then they do dry runs, for practice.
Example:
鈥淲hat are your priorities?鈥�
鈥淟NG, debt-free B.C., jobs and families.鈥�
鈥淲hy is debt going up then?鈥�
鈥淭he temporary uprisingness is a temporary measure that helps families, necessary before the LNG great leap forward, turning-the-corner-wise.鈥�
鈥淐an the Canucks win with Tortorella?鈥�
鈥淗e鈥檒l spur more interest, which creates economic activity, which means more jobs, for families, going forward.鈥�
No matter how good they get at dealing with the media, there鈥檚 still the question of why the government had to spend $24,000 for this self-improvement program, when they have a battalion of staff on hand who could do it in-house.
The Government Communications and Public Engagement Branch 鈥� 200 people strong 鈥� is literally crawling with ex-media types. There are so many former radio reporters there some people call it CKNW 2.
The reasons why they weren鈥檛 used sound suspect.
Andrew Wilkinson鈥檚 Technology, Innovation and Citizens鈥� Services Ministry is the one responsible for the communications office. Colleague Rob Shaw, who came upon the program this week, asked him about it and was told they were too busy and the need for coaching was urgent, so they farmed it out.
And Wilkinson said the idea is valid enough that 鈥淚 can鈥檛 see that would ever be the kind of item that government would want to cut, because new ministers like me need to get accustomed to the media.鈥�
It鈥檚 a very small bill. Guests probably spilled more than that at the Times of India Film Award receptions.
But it shows ministers are still willing to spend money on themselves, even at the start of a core-review process, where every function of government is supposed to be scrutinized.
The government has announced billions worth of cost-cutting in the past three years. In 2009, they planned $2 billion worth of cuts over three years, identified as 鈥渢ravel, professional services, building charges, discretionary grants and back-office functions.鈥�
In 2010, they turned the screws some more. This year鈥檚 budget orders universities to find $50 million in savings over three years. Ministry budgets were cut by $15 million a year in the February budget, and the update this week demands another $30 million worth of cuts.
You鈥檇 think they鈥檇 have run out of things to cut. But the idea of a $24,000 coach shows there is still a way to go.
