Don't let the bastards grind you down.

I鈥檝e been blogging backwards鈥 bit鈥rying to get everything sorted in the right order.听 It鈥檚 a bit weird, because just when something amazing happens that I want to write about, I think鈥︹€漁h, I should really write about last Monday when I met with my dietitian.鈥澨� But what I have to say right now cannot wait鈥his is important.

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I got a message from a high school friend the other night, he鈥檚 a personal trainer, and it simply said:听鈥淪neak a bit of brown rice into ya.鈥澨� Now, I have really, really changed the way that I鈥檝e been eating, and I may have been bragging via a certain social media site that I had 鈥渟kipped carbs with dinner鈥� and then mentioned that I was going out after that for another workout.听 He just reminded me that I needed fuel for said workout鈥nd it reminded me of my power struggle鈥his is harder than I thought.

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Food is power to me.听 If I control food, I am in control鈥nd that goes both ways, overeating AND under eating.

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Here鈥檚 an interesting side note鈥xcuse me while I go on a tangent鈥y spell check thinks that overeating is spelled correctly, but that undereating is not a word.听 Now what does that say about the evolution of the English language?

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This is not the racehorse, this is Tulsa..crazy jumper pony.

When I was super fit in high school I restricted calories and dropped down to 109 pounds or so, but I never thought that was good enough.听 I was a serious and dedicated equestrian training a young racehorse to compete over fences, a half-back with a killer drive storming the field with the first 11, I helped start the first women鈥檚 soccer team my school had seen, I was the spirit-filled Caister-Mackenzie house captain, and if I wasn鈥檛 doing something sporty, I was singing and dancing with the drama troop.听 I had a rockin鈥� bod鈥nd you know what?听 I thought I was fat.听 I would look into the mirror and turn to the side and grab my stomach and pull it flat.听 I would look down at my muscular thighs and curse them for being so 鈥渂ig.鈥�

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This is not a pity party.听 I hostess a lot of parties, but I will never throw one of those!听 This is a full-on rant. 听

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If you are reading this and you happen to know a teenager who鈥檚 into all the right things, tell them how amazing they are every day.听 Encourage them to keep it up, and talk, talk, talk, talk to them about everything.听 Tell them they鈥檙e beautiful and that you love them for being exactly who they are.听 My parents and friends did all of that, and it only took a couple of stupid boys to tear my self esteem to shreds.

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And teenage boys, if you鈥檙e reading this, man up and tell those gorgeous girls just how wonderful they are...I don鈥檛 care if you鈥檙e scared.听 Tell them.听 Tell them, and you鈥檒l be a hero...not only mine, but theirs...for life.听 Who says nice guys finish last?听 It simply will not do to tell that girl 20 years later after she's lost the thing that she never knew she had.

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It's so clich茅, but if I could have a conversation with my teenage self I would tell her keep on keeping on.听 Eat healthy, stay active, think positively, go for it, trust in yourself, and don't let the bastards grind you down.听

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Eoin, thanks for telling me 20 years later...you'll never know how good that made me feel.

"Get it back girl!"

I will.

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