Kudos to the 91原创 Island Amateur Hockey Association for taking steps to quell outrageous behaviour in the bleachers. Hockey parents behaving badly display poor sportsmanship and lack of respect. More seriously, though, they display bad parenting.
Five Greater Victoria parents will miss their kids鈥� hockey games this weekend for yelling at officials and the opposing team. There might be several more enforced absences as the association investigates incidents elsewhere on the Island.
The benefits of sports are many. Besides getting physical exercise and developing skills, young athletes learn the benefits of teamwork, the importance of following rules and the value of sportsmanship. These aren鈥檛 merely sentimental notions, but principles that will stand them in good stead in their adult lives.
They also learn that losing isn鈥檛 fatal. Defeats on the ice, the field or the gym floor are often more instructive than victories. They teach kids how to handle adversity, to learn from mistakes and move ahead.
These are things well-intended parents strive to teach their children beyond the context of sports, but that teaching is badly eroded when parents lower themselves to screaming insults at opposing teams and referees. A young person learns a different kind of life lesson when his or her parent gets involved in a fight over how a game is going. It鈥檚 ugly and it鈥檚 the opposite of what a parent should be doing.
Hockey columnist Adam Proteau said it eloquently when he wrote this plea to parents in a November 2014 issue of The Hockey News: 鈥淲hatever else you do for your kid during their time on the ice, do them a bigger service and ensure you鈥檙e not one of the overbearing, interfering, egomaniacal embarrassments of hockey parents roaming arenas throughout North America.鈥�
Parents who spew verbal abuse at amateur officials or who trade punches with other parents are not only ruining the game for their own children, they mar the experience for others.
While out-of-control parents are a small minority of those who attend games, sadly, such behaviour is not a rare occurrence. A 2013 Ipsos Reid poll found that 43 per cent of 91原创 parents said they had witnessed verbal or physical abuse of officials or coaches at children鈥檚 sporting events.
Many bad hockey parents probably think they are acting in the best interests of their children, but they are doing the opposite. Tantrums and fits of anger are acts of selfishness. Perhaps they have dreams of scholarships or professional sports careers for their progeny, but they are more likely to hinder than help. Success comes from an athlete鈥檚 ability and perseverance, not from a parent鈥檚 bullying and politicking.
Bad calls by referees 鈥� or what are seen as bad calls from the sidelines 鈥� stir up howls of anger, but again, the parent who goes ballistic at a call he or she doesn鈥檛 like is doing the young athlete no favours.
Yes, sometimes bad calls are made, but that, too, is an opportunity for an important lesson: Life is not always fair. Get used to it. It鈥檚 easy to conduct yourself with grace and dignity when you are winning, when all the calls are in your favour. The real test is how you conduct yourself when things aren鈥檛 going your way.
We all want our children to do well and we try to insulate them from the hard knocks of life. But they must be allowed to make their own mistakes, to climb their own mountains.
A lively crowd is as much part of the game as the players are, but hockey associations are doing the right thing by insisting parents behave themselves and leave the coaching to the coaches and the refereeing to the refs.
