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Christmas blues? Feeling the joy is not easy for some

For many people this is a tough time of year, but beyond the tinsel and gifts is the beautiful story of Christmas - about caring for those struggling in some way, encouraging us to live out the values it teaches.
christmas-blues

I do love Christmas, really I do. I mean, I love the meaning of the Christmas story – a story of love, a story of hope, a story of God being involved in the everyday, very human world. The Christmas story talks of Jesus as ‘Emmanuel’, which means ‘God with us.’ - God with us in the good times and the bad times, God with us – loving us, being alongside us, embracing us – in the everyday realities of what we face.

At the same time, there’s something about the way in which we make Christmas out to be a jolly, happy, celebratory time for all people that doesn’t quite ring true. We have so many expectations of what Christmas should be – the perfect gifts, the perfect meal, the perfect family gathering, and (for those of us in the Church) the perfect celebration with music and dressing up and all kinds of stuff going on.

But for many of us it’s a tough time of year. There are the stresses to make everything perfect, alongside putting a group of family members and sometimes other people together in a room where there may be some very different viewpoints and opinions. There’s also the deep hurt that many feel with the absence of loved ones at this time of year – those we have lost, those from whom we are estranged, family and friends who live far away, those we have lost touch with, all who we miss for many reasons. Then there are those we know who are struggling – with trauma, with poverty, with mental health difficulties and substance use – those who we see on our streets, in our parks. All these people, all these concerns, weigh heavily on our hearts and in our minds- particularly at this time of year.

The Rev’d Benjamin Cremer, something of a Social Media star in the progressive Christian world, talked a few days ago about Christmas being a time when our feelings get amplified – if we’re happy, we get happier, sad, we get more melancholy, lonely etc you get the picture. From having experience of this myself and having heard both happy and sad holiday stories over the years I think this is a good observation – and also I have seen how this time of year can leave us open to positive change also. We can be welcomed in amongst friends when we feel alone, we can feel valued by a thoughtful gift, we can feel loved when we’re invited to participate in holiday activities.

The Christmas story is one of transformation and changing things – about God loving the world so much that he sent Jesus to speak out for love, peace, justice, yet rather than making a show of power and might he comes to us in human vulnerability, in a place of humility and with all the same needs that every other human baby has. The Christmas story reminds us that God is found and is at work often in those who society excludes – the manual labourer, the unwed mother, the rough shepherds, the refugee.

This amazing story reminds us to look out for where God is at work, even in the most unexpected places, and to join in where we see that work being done. We live out the Christmas story when we do welcome the stranger and make room at the inn, we live out the Christmas story when we see the wonder of every human being, and the glory of God crying out from all creation. We live the Christmas story when we take care of the needy, reach out to the excluded and marginalized, comfort the lonely and the grieving, and take the risk of loving others – even those who are strange to us.

This story reminds us that Christian faith, indeed any faith, is much less concerned with religious observance and ritual, with prayers and hymns and Scripture readings, than it is with how we live our values and take care of one another and the world which God loves. If, as the story says, God is willing to reach out to humanity with humility and deep love, then we too are called to do the same – this Christmastime and always.

The Ven. Alastair Singh-McCollum is Rector of St. John the Divine Anglican Church in Victoria and Archdeacon, Diocese of Islands and Inlets. He has a passion for the Gospel, motorbikes and bike culture, worship, philosophy, theology, guitars, single malt whisky, real ale, cinema and all things French. You can find Alastair at the church website: and on his blog:

You can read more articles on our interfaith blog, Spiritually Speaking, at /blogs/spiritually-speaking