A friend and well respected academic, often tells the story of how his life was transformed by a group of nomads in the Middle East. 鈥淭hey offered me hospitality in a time of need.听 When we would sit around the fire each evening, the day鈥檚 tasks completed, the conversation would always begin with; 鈥楾ell us something new鈥�. No one was exempt.鈥� 听Someone might re-tell a story of the night before, but often the telling revealed something deeper, for the individual and their community.
To live in the desert, and of necessity to be completely interdependent, meant this was not simply a way to pass time during the long dark evenings. The practice was born of a wisdom that knew community can only thrive when knowledge is shared and individual hurts and struggles become an integral part of the community鈥檚 shared story. They knew that only in the telling and re-telling can true healing and transformation be found.
Recently, I spent a few days without my usual focus on electronic devices. I began to see more clearly how my narrative is shaped through their influence on story. This kind of habit is not only seductive, it has pitfalls, as it shapes beliefs and expectations on an unconscious level. I noticed time felt full, even with my phone quiet and my computer taking a sabbatical. I felt differently connected, there was space to listen to others deeply, and to talk intensely, with honesty, uninterrupted by frequent glances at a backlit screen. I could hear my own and others鈥� stories with deepening clarity. It was demanding and healing.
There is a story in the Bible about an experience two of Christ鈥檚 disciples had on the road to Emmaus. They are distraught, going over and over what had happened to Jesus, trying to understand. Jesus joins them, but they don鈥檛 recognise him. He asks what they have been speaking of with such intensity. They tell their story.听 Their anger and fear tinged with a sense of betrayal, frame the narrative. He listens carefully, and then issues the challenge; 鈥渉ow foolish you are, and slow of heart to believe all the prophets have declared!鈥�
听They chose to listen to him. Through the growing relationship with this 鈥渟tranger鈥�, who reminded them of the larger story and the place where their experience fits, they feel secure enough to offer him hospitality. Even then, it is only in the moment of breaking bread they recognize him. 听Intuitively they already knew who was, 鈥渄id not our hearts burn within us?鈥�, but it was only in the intimate act of hospitality they were able to be open and vulnerable with the risen Jesus.
The power of telling and re-telling stories can help anger, fear and guilt to be laid aside. This only occurs if the story is listened to, questions are asked, trust is built, and tightly held assumptions are relinquished. 听
When the story that shapes our expectations is determined by those who communicate for effect and profit, the potential for healing and complexity so necessary for authentic story is lost. A monochrome world becomes all one can hope for lacking the listening God of grace and love.
The practice of 鈥渢ell me something new鈥� from the desert community was necessary hard work.听 It represents an ideal for Christian communities. Yet it is in the person to person encounters where one does not avoid the homeless person鈥檚 story nor the narrative of the CEO of a corporation. 听Questions reveal the complexity, relationship is built and the narrative changes.
The Reverend Canon Nancy Ford, Deacon, is the Anglican Director of Deacons for the Diocese of British Columbia听and Deacon to the City of Victoria out of
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* This article was published in the print edition of the Times 91原创 on Saturday, May 27 2017
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