On Saturday an eleven year-old boy gave me great hope and helped me in the journey of grief.
My mother-in-law died in 2016. This last weekend was her birthday and we made a visit to her grave. In 2019 our grandson died. He was 9 years old. We visited his grave at the same time. The cause of his death continues to be under investigation. No matter who died it affects you in a particular way. My wife’s mother had died at home. Visits to her grave were always good conversations about how the family was doing. On the other hand, our grandson’s death was tragic. His death could have been prevented by the right medical attention. So, every visit to his grave knocks off the scab.
A few years ago a friend of mine died. As she approached death she would always read 1 Corinthians 13 in a particular way. The passage reads ‘And now faith, hope and love abide, these three, and the greatest of these is love’. During her illness, my friend always said the greatest of these is hope.
Grief never goes away. For me, there is no such thing as coming to terms or being resolved with grief. It is always there and to a greater or lesser degree causes pain, sadness, anger and tears. We do, however, receive consolation through family and friends. In these times we can experience joy, laughter and contentment. The scar of grief however is with us forever but, at times, the scab is knocked off and the cut which is deep is left raw again.
My wife and I are reading a book at the moment titled by Laura Imai Messina. It is a story of hope set in the aftermath of the 2011 Tsunami in Japan. The phone booth is located in a garden and is a place where those who have lost loved ones can go and speak to them and experience the journey of healing. The phone in the booth is not connected. It is a lovely story of the healing journey through grief; it reminds us that the grief journey is not linear. These phone booths are popping up in various locations around the world. To be able to speak to someone who has died is a huge part of healing the losses we experience in our lives. A conversation in a phone booth, even one that is not connected, restores our spirit. Being able to speak to our loved one, our friend for that moment, releases all that grief has trapped inside. It allows us to connect with a hope beyond death.
This time when we arrived at our grandson’s grave we discovered some silk flowers with a letter attached. It was a letter from his friend who had brought the flowers. The letter was written to our grandson. It was an honest, open letter that spoke of how his friend missed him, what the class he would have been in was like. He told him how his friends were doing.
As I read this young boy’s wisdom, I felt so moved by his words - words reaching out to his friend, reaching in to his own self. For me, his letter showed the love for his friend, the faith and hope that death could not separate them and that death was not the end but the doorway into a new relationship. My heart was touched.
The greatest of these is hope!
Now retired, Bishop Logan McMenamie lives in Saanich and assists at the Anglican Parish of Central Saanich. He maintains his focus on First Nations Relationship, Reconciliation, peacemaking and multi faith work.
You can read more articles on our interfaith blog, Spiritually Speaking, HERE /blogs/spiritually-speaking
* This article was published in the print edition of the Times 91原创 on Saturday, February 12th 2022
