You may have heard the story of the Jewish couple who went to a Rabbi for some marriage counselling. They were having problems communicating with each other and were worried that they were headed for divorce. The Rabbi told them to observe Shabbat. The couple thanked the Rabbi but told him that they couldn’t do that because they were too busy plus they weren’t very observant, and Shabbat didn’t mean much to them.
Then, they went to an expensive marriage counsellor. The counsellor told them to have a date-day once a week where they just spent time with each other, away from their work, email, texting, phone calls, the news, and so on. They were to take time to be quiet with each other and to let the problems be put away for a minimum of 24 hours—for one night and a day. And…if they could, it would be good for them to choose the same day each week for their date-day.
A few weeks later the Rabbi called to ask them how they were doing. They told him that they were taking the counsellor’s advice and that things seemed to be getting better. The Rabbi asked what they were doing that was working so well. They answered that one night a week before going to bed they turned off their computers and phones and avoided watching or listening to the news for a full day. Instead, they were going for walks, playing games, and taking time to just sit quietly together in gratitude for each other the life they had built and were continuing to build together.
The Rabbi said that sounded wonderful and asked them which day they chose as their day together. They said, “Saturday.” The Rabbi smiled. They had chosen Shabbat.
For Jews around the world, Shabbat is a special day of rest. It starts with sunset on Friday night and ends with sundown on Saturday night—25 hours. For observant Jews, it’s a time to say special prayers and to spend time with friends and family, without the intrusion of emails, phone calls, text messages, world news, and so on. For 25 hours, we take a break from the difficulties of the everyday world and take time to appreciate the life that we have, even if that life involves suffering and hardship. The suffering and hardship may still be there when Shabbat ends—we just take a break from it for 25 hours each week.
This break helps us to build up positive spiritual and psychological energy that sustains us throughout the week. On Shabbat, conversations are shaped around the weekly Torah readings, the teachings of our Sages, gratitude for what we have, and happy events. When we hear someone starting to focus on unhappy news, we try to steer the conversation towards something happy or towards a teaching from our sages that helps us understand how to turn negative events into positive ones.
The importance of focusing on positive energy is reflected in the way that the days are counted in the Jewish calendar. Sunday is called the First Day after Shabbat. Monday is the Second Day after Shabbat, and so on until we get to Friday which is the Sixth Day and the Evening of Shabbat. Shabbat becomes our anchor for the week, rather than the end of it.
When I have had an especially challenging week, I look forward to Shabbat and my time away from my work and the world-at-large. I look forward to the opportunity to sit quietly in meditation, to read and hear uplifting words of prayer, and to participate in joyful conversations. I build up my positive spiritual and psychological energy so that I am able to succeed in the coming week. Most important for me, is to take Shabbat into the week instead of the week into Shabbat. The week will be there when Shabbat is over…and Shabbat will be there when my work for the week is complete.
Fiona Prince, MA is a coach and teacher who provides fundamental communication and writing skills through her own company and through Royal Roads Professional & Continuing Studies. Fiona acknowledges that her home and office are located on the traditional territories of the W瘫SÁNE膯 and Lkwungen-speaking peoples, on whose traditional territories, she is thankful to live, learn, play, and do her work. She worships at the Chabad Family Shul in Victoria and teaches children and adults how to read Hebrew. Contact her at if you would like to study with her.
You can read more articles on our blog, Spiritually Speaking, HERE: /blogs/spiritually-speaking
